Join me in Snarkville

Being snarky is the only thing that makes this place enjoyable. After all, if you can't laugh at others, how do you feel superior?

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Location: Snarkville, Left Coast

Treat me no differently than you would any Queen. I rule my Snarky kingdom with some kind of dignity, but I refuse to add grace. I rule with my Prince of a husband (he can't be King, since he married into his royal title) and my son the Duke of Snarkville.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Happy Monday All.

Before getting to the meat of this post I must admit that I have had to write out an OUTLINE for this one. I have so much to go over, I didn't want to leave anything out. However, in the Queen's normal style, I burned my popcorn and thus have decided that the outline was too much and thrown it away --- with the popcorn.

THANG ONE:
Don't burn popcorn. It stinks up the whole house QUICKLY. And in case you are thinking I was an airhead for burning it -- I was standing RIGHT there listening -- the popping never slowed, just begun to burn. URGH.

THANG TWO:
My secret pal e-mailed me this morning to wish me a happy "Knitiversary." How awesome is that? (I think I have a little crush on her already.) Ok, so in honor of my 'versary, I think we must thank Miss Niki who taught me to knit. And would you all like to see what I first made? Of course you would.

What do you think this blob is? Would you believe it was a shawl that became a laptop case. We aren't looking at the uneven flap or my very poor seaming. To this point, it is the ONLY project I've ever done on straight needles.

Oh, how far I have come --- from this to socks!!





THANG THREE:
The Queen now has a permit to learn to drive a motorcycle. Yes, I FINALLY passed the written test. The DMV in Snarkville is actually fairly well run. If you overlook the fact that Prince and I have two completely different types of permits though we have asked for the same thing. However, there was one guy who was in front of me in line whose first language was Italian. The conversation went as follows:
DMV Lady: What language would you like to take the written test in?
Italian Guy: I try.
DMV Lady: What language do you speak?
Italian Guy: Italian and some English.
DMV Lady: Would you like the test in Italian or English?
Italian Guy: English, I try.

Now I ask you -- WHY? If you speak and read Italian (probably 1000 times better than English), would you burden yourself with taking a test in English.

Oh and for the record -- driving written tests are NOT at all about the rules of the road -- and the motorcycle one is not either -- what a pain in the bottom. I would think the written test would focus on the LAWS and the driving portion would focus on the DRIVING -- but who knew -- the laws aren't different for motorcyclists -- thus the exam is all about how you hold the throttle and what to do if the clutch fails.

On a funny side note: We got home from test taking and I looked at Prince's Permit and thought -- that looks different than mine. I waited for him to go to work and took mine out to examine --- yup, sure enough. He had the standard Permit to learn to ride thingie -- I had a standard permit to learn to "drive a car" AND "ride a motorcycle." HELLO? Do you think we can get Prince to stop teasing me? I called the DMV (in hindsight, a HUGE mistake) and was told that one of the two was wrong, go to your local office to sort this all out. DUH. So, I walk in. The first guy who helped me this morning asked me, "So you making a day of the DMV today?" I laughed and showed him my papers --- come to find out (and please don't die of shock here) BOTH WERE WRONG. You see, Prince and I hold out of state licenses (it is legal for us to do this -- it is ok); but when we add the motorcycle license, we will need to move our licenses to this crazy state. However, since we were applying, correctly, for the Instruction Permit; we don't get new licenses yet --- but we should have gotten TEMPORARY Licenses -- NOT a driving permit!!!! URGH, to say the least. I felt 15 all of a sudden. But that's ok -- I'm just convinced that the state government around here is a little screwy anyway. And get this, if we don't pass the safety course or the road test by the time our temporary licenses expire, it is back to the DMV for an extension. And no, it seems they will not send us real licenses until the motorcycle thing is done. URGHsquared.

THANG FOUR:
My secret pal is already awesome. First, I have to say that for this being my first time -- such a Secret Pal virgin, I'm already having a blast. I haven't heard from my spoilee, but I'm sure she's on just on vacation without internet access (which never happens to the citizens of Snarkville -- we love our connectivity WAY too much to go without -- we suck that way) or something equally acceptable. I hope to hear from her soon; cause I'm totally lame and need even more knitting friends!
However, I think my secret pal is going to be pretty cool. It will come as no shock to her that I'm stalking the participant lists to try to search her out -- I'm failing thus far and overwhelmed with how many blogs I'd have to read through.
But I've also begun sucking up to my Secret Pal Hostess. I have to say -- I'm getting good at the sucking up thing ;) But my hostess, with the mostest, will be in my area on Friday and I'm meeting her at yarn -- can you believe it? Meeting secret people so soon??? I love it.

THANG FIVE:
Keep a look out on this space in the upcoming weeks, there will be "LIVE BLOGGING" from all sorts of neat and 'remote' locals. You never knew how portable Snarkville can be.

Happy Knitiversary to me. (Hey, Niki, thanks for teaching me --- I guess you are the pusher who got me hooked on yarn crack.)

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course she leaves out important pieces of the DMV experience... Like how the DMV in Snarkland (the place we lived before Snarkville) typically boasted lines out the door and 4+ hour waits... just to see the receptionist!

However, in Snarkville the entire DMV experience was probably about 45 minutes from start to finish... I was impressed.

Then there's the requisite photo of the governor on the wall of the DMV... It looked more like his head shot than an official photo (which makes sense considering who he is). We think on the back it has his stats and that he doesn't sing or do dance bits. :)

Finally who've thought that if you have had a drivers license from SnarkBeach for upwards of 15 years, that those same licenses would be no good in Snarkville requiring one of us to get a learners permit... I'm working on finding the "queen" a good driving school in the hopes that it will lower our insurance rates! :)

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Knitiversary to you! I can't believe I forgot. And I didn't get you anything but this pitiful little blog comment. OK, so I'm on a yarn diet AND a spending diet, but I really think this calls for something. Must peruse the stash. And can I say, I'm just so proud of you. You amaze me daily, not just with your knitting, but with the whole package! Oh - and I'd sing, but I won't, and that will be my gift to you. Trust me on this one. And give the Prince a big raspberry for me!

6:05 PM  
Blogger Nic said...

I'm glad that my SP power makes me so suck-up worthy, yet I would think that my charm and charisma would make me interesting enough without the title. And btw, DMV here is fabulous Las Vegas is a 4 hour experience.

11:42 PM  

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