Join me in Snarkville

Being snarky is the only thing that makes this place enjoyable. After all, if you can't laugh at others, how do you feel superior?

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Location: Snarkville, Left Coast

Treat me no differently than you would any Queen. I rule my Snarky kingdom with some kind of dignity, but I refuse to add grace. I rule with my Prince of a husband (he can't be King, since he married into his royal title) and my son the Duke of Snarkville.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Cut, Bruised, and Mortified

Yup, all in one day. Hold on to your little bits for today's has been a rollercoaster of emotions.

Let's begin with the first fun of my day, I had my entire back sliced off. Well, ok, a 3/4 inch spot, but it sort of feels like my whole back. I have three stitches (which I might point out is triple the ONE stitch I was promised). I will not know the results of my little brush with the knife until probably at least a week from now. For the record, now I'm beginning to feel the beginnings of worry. I have no idea if it is that it took a week to settle in for me OR the sheer fact that I had an actual flashback to my epidural during childbirth that knocked some sense into me. In other doctor related news, I have high cholesterol and a script for seasickness patches. In response to the commenter who is amused that I get ill; it is only ever the first day; but yes I do -- however, the cruise itself is SO much fun that I try to forget my little green moments.

I rushed home for a business meeting. I got a call from Duke's school to tell me that my son was bitten yet again. This is becoming a horribly too often phone call and we are beginning to think that a change in school is in order -- but I have to say I fear we'd just end up in the same boat with higher prices. I'm such in a mommy dilemma here, that I may have been a wee bit harsh to the teacher --- While I refrained from the "Don't you have the brains to watch children?" comment; I may have said something about "biting is always unacceptable and I'm tired of hearing excuses." I even called the director of the school and will be enjoying multiple hours of watching Duke's class this week to see if I can point out anything they could do to prevent my child from being chewed on. My ego is a little battered on this one, because I basically agreed to send my child to an assessment for speech skills I don't think he needs (the assessment, not the skills). I'm PO'd that I won't get anywhere with the school until I can prove this isn't HIS problem -- and like I said my ego is bruised.

Anyway, the meeting went well. I bought some ad space in a magazine. Prince isn't as in love with this plan as I am, so we shall see how it goes.

I'm so red with embarrassment that I could light up the entire Pacific Coast. I forgot my father's birthday today. I forgot it to the point my mother called to remind me. I'm feeling like a complete and total heel and I am one. We are going to see them on Friday and I'm sure I should do something that says -- "I'm sorry for forgetting your birthday, but I assure you that this present was waiting to come down with us." Ideas? I'm open to anything at this point. I'm the worst daughter to walk. Add that to my bad mommy status as I'm batting 1,000 today.

Finally, I think Duke has an ear infection. He isn't running a fever, but he's grumpy and something just isn't right. I'm going to call the Ped tomorrow for an appointment -- what with us flying on Friday and everything. This is just NOT a good time for me. I just got back from responding to a "MMOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAA" call. He tells us that everything hurts. His ears hurt, his teeth hurt, his toes hurt. So, we gave him kisses and hugs and little medicine. I'm calling the doctor to see if we can fix the boy before leaving town.

So, I'm too bummed to continue, so if you are looking for me, I'll have my head in the oven.

On the bright side, I got my Socks that Rock club yarn -- and it is prettier than last shipment. I'll post happy photos and perhaps good things tomorrow.


Blogger Grenadine Girl said...

Hey I'll be sending good thoughts your way. just think of artfibers and you'll feel much better.

You need a new mantra "everything's better with yarn".

Back hurts, pet some yarn.
In the doctor's waiting room with the Duke, knit a sock
Feeling guilty about pop's bday, admire the yarn stash.

If the above doesn't work, do what I do and talk to the yarn. Yarn sympathizes with everything. Yarn says, life's not so bad, you've got me to love you. And the yarn doesn't charge you or bill your health insurance nor does it require to be fed, diapered or clothed.

Trust me on this,


11:01 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I went through that at Simon's school too. we went through the same dilemma's and you are right, you just get the same "care" but at higher prices. Higher prices don't always include a higher teacher to child ratio. It really does abate as they move to the back end of 2 and into the 3 year old room.

Ear infections...see one in my future too!

Oh my sorry about the back & Dad's birthday. Um, can you knit him some socks????

Can't wait to see your Socks that Rock shipment

6:12 AM  
Anonymous Niki said...

I agree heartily with GG - everything's better with yarn. Go pet some right now. At least you didn't even have to shop for it, it just came right to your door. And yes, I'm pea green with envy.

I don't see how Duke's school thinks him saying, "pardon me, sir, but I'd appreciate you not gnawing on my arm" is going to help. Duke speaks just fine for a 2 1/2 year old - I can understand him just fine (tell him Kikki says hi), thanks, and he's miles ahead of where he was 6 months ago. What do they think this will accomplish, truly? It's not like they need him to identify the culprit - they know who it is, they always do. You are more than justified in being completely pissed about this! It will get better, and it would be different if Duke was biting because he didn't have words to say "you're pissing me off", but it's not HIM doing the biting! Speech-test the Nibbler, why don't they? They've got my mommy-ire up - how can they pick on the sweetest boy in the world?

Sorry you forgot the King's b-day (Is he the King Pop?). I know you'll see him this week, but it still stings a little to have forgotten it. I know there's not time for socks, but maybe sock yarn with the promise of socks? Or would he not dig that? A knitted apron perhaps?

OK, this is more of a blog post than a comment at this point, so I'll stop. Just remember this - you get to get on a plane at the end of the week to fly cross-country - with yarn and needles. Keep it all in perspective, girl!

6:24 AM  
Blogger Polly said...

I skip one day of reading and your life crashes. I'm sorry Duke is so tasty-- is it the same biter or as word gotten out that he is so succulent?

I wouldn't worry too much about the mole thing-- it's not like your 80 years old leather scarred from the sun. If any follow up is needed I think they can sort you out fairly quickly.

I find it apropos that the mother of the kid get chewed on chooses to stick her head in the oven as her method...

9:29 PM  

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